The Growing Pains of Becoming a New Mom

laundry-pile-2

{huge laundry pile + cute baby girl}

I’m the type of person that feels a lot before I can actually put it all into words. Motherhood has been particularly difficult to articulate, both the good and the hard. Especially because everything changes so fast. What works one day doesn’t work the next.

I read a lot while I rock Liliana, she’s a consistent 30-45 minute napper, so I’m constantly rocking her back to sleep so she can finish her nap and get the sleep she needs. During one of my rocking sessions, I stumbled across this post on Coffee + Crumbs and Kate pretty much sums-up everything perfectly here:

…When I became a mother for the first time, the instant life change was hard for me. I cried a lot and felt overwhelmed. What I realize in hindsight is that these were growing pains. I was becoming a new person entirely, and growing pains can hurt. I didn’t know myself and this scared me. My priorities and ideas of what caused me worry and stress were changing completely. My husband probably wondered where the fun, energetic, and outgoing woman he married went. I wondered that too. I missed my old life at times. I read news stories about horrible things happening to other people’s children and felt gutted. What if that was MY kid? This time of transition, where I straddled the line between old life and new, was confusing, painful, challenging, inspiring, and joyful all at the same time. It was also, well, hard…

This is exactly how I feel. And no one really talks about what a new mom goes through. How you might feel. That it’s all normal to feel the shock of caring for a tiny, innocent person 24 hours a day. But I’m getting glimpses (like this one from Kate) of people putting it out there, and I’m so grateful to hear it from others. It makes me feel less selfish.

I constantly think about how I want to be the best I can be for Liliana. And for me, right now, I think that means remembering all these moments and my growing pains. And embracing this confusing, painful, challenging, inspiring, joyful and hard time for what it is and to talk about it openly and honestly. And when Liliana goes through this she will have me to lean on and hear it’s all normal and okay—this is you transforming into a new you, and I know it’s scary. But a stronger version of yourself that you never knew existed is starting to take shape.

 

Comments

  1. Nancy says

    Wow, Jen. What insight. Liliana is one lucky girl. Enjoy the journey.

    Reply
    1. A house isn#7821&;t everything. It is a place to keep your stuff, sleep and eat. We are looking at the possibility of downsizing very soon as my husband retires and we still have two children under the age of 18. We will both be looking for jobs and later working, and our boys will be at school. We plan on doing things outdoors on the weekends. The house won’t have to be big. We just need to adjust to a smaller living space. I don’t think I would want to live in a space quite THIS small, though

  2. Darci says

    “All that I am, my mother made me.” Love this quote ~
    Lilliana so adorable and lucky to have such a smart and caring mom ~ your Mother did
    A great job raising you ~ you can see it with how much love you have for Lilliana ~ despite all the dirty laundry, diapers and broken sleep~
    She’ll grow up to be a strong confident mom like yourself !

    Reply
  3. mark barela says

    I love the pic you used to describe your feelings ! Perfect ! Keeping your finger on the pulse of your lives and keeping all the (sometimes confusing) dynamics in perspective and to continue to evolve with Brian and Liliana will all pay off. All the while, maintaining your self is difficult. I love your style Jennifer ! You are an awesome person and mother…no doubt !!!

    Reply

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